I have had dreams of us. Replaying everything we have done. It's like watching myself acting in a movie I know so well that I have no more feelings. It's not numb-ness, something I can't understand. It's like so weird that it doesn't seem weird.
I see how things actually evolve. It's a stupid flow chart. 1 leads to 2 leads to 3 leads to 4. If you look at it like a graph, knowing you is stage 1, clear accending line, fallouts will be small flatuations, you see the slope readily going downwards. In a few more units(time), the slope goes up gradually. But hey, it's stopped there for me. Wow. Fantastic, no improvement? "deprovement?"
Bringing this up not to remind myself or make any advancement about this issue. It's gonna stuck there. Not the peak, but it's well above the minimum. I've done so because I am sure where I am going, not blindly emoing because he is not anywhere contactable.
I know myself so well, I am getting better at this. Between this emotional feelings vs every other thing, I have found some sort of balance. Finally. Thinking about you every single moment seems so dull and useless. I can't make a sound.
Given myself too many chances. No. Stop it, Ting, it's too late. It's been 2 years. Wake up.
Damn, I don't know how to phrase my thoughts.
I should be optimistic about this. This may be a once in a lifetime experience, this longing for something, this feeling of dejection. Remember, once in a lifetime. But I should get going. Yea, I should.
I see how things actually evolve. It's a stupid flow chart. 1 leads to 2 leads to 3 leads to 4. If you look at it like a graph, knowing you is stage 1, clear accending line, fallouts will be small flatuations, you see the slope readily going downwards. In a few more units(time), the slope goes up gradually. But hey, it's stopped there for me. Wow. Fantastic, no improvement? "deprovement?"
Bringing this up not to remind myself or make any advancement about this issue. It's gonna stuck there. Not the peak, but it's well above the minimum. I've done so because I am sure where I am going, not blindly emoing because he is not anywhere contactable.
I know myself so well, I am getting better at this. Between this emotional feelings vs every other thing, I have found some sort of balance. Finally. Thinking about you every single moment seems so dull and useless. I can't make a sound.
Given myself too many chances. No. Stop it, Ting, it's too late. It's been 2 years. Wake up.
Damn, I don't know how to phrase my thoughts.
I should be optimistic about this. This may be a once in a lifetime experience, this longing for something, this feeling of dejection. Remember, once in a lifetime. But I should get going. Yea, I should.
